Game for couples: 36 questions to fall in love!

In 1990, a unique experiment was conducted in America, which spread so widely around the world that it has become popular to this day. Psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron, together with his colleagues, studied how people get to know each other, discover the qualities they like in each other, move into intimacy, and fall in love. The task of the study was to answer 36 questions within an hour. The questions were designed to make it easier to get to know a person, establish a deeper connection, and feel closeness. The first part of the questions is intended for general knowledge of the person, while the subsequent questions are more open, intimate, and require more personal and sincere answers.

These questions are perfect for couples who have just met to better understand each other, and for those who have been together for a long time, it will be a great opportunity to get to know each other even better and see how the person next to you changes. You will be surprised that the person you know so well can still surprise you!

You can also check if the experiment works.

• You will need a quiet place where you will not be disturbed and where you can spend at least an hour with each other.
• Both of you answer the same question, taking turns answering first.
• Answer the questions in order. They are arranged in a certain order, so it is important not to lose consistency.
• Don't interrupt each other by answering. Listen and support each other when they are speaking.
• Don't be afraid to be open and honest, share things the way you feel. This is probably the most important part of this experiment.
• If you need a break or the conversation has become too intense, allow yourself to calm down.
• After answering all the questions, have a discussion - what was sensitive or perhaps unexpected to learn? What emotions remained.

36 questions:

All questions are divided into three parts of 12 questions each.

The questions in Part I are more general, the kind you could ask a stranger. They are designed to get to know each other better, understand the flow of the game, and "get in the groove":

1. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what field?
3. Do you ever rehearse a phone conversation before you make the call? Why?
4. What does your perfect day look like?
5. When was the last time you sang? Were you singing to yourself or to someone else?
6. If you knew you would live to be 90, what would you want to keep for the remaining 60 years: the body of a 30-year-old or the mind of a 30-year-old?
7. Do you have a feeling you're going to die?
8. List three things that connect you.
9. What are you most grateful for in your life?
10. If you could change something about your childhood, what would it be?
11. In 4 minutes, tell your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow and have any ability or power, what would it be?

Part II of the questions is intended for a more personal understanding of each other. For a deeper insight, understanding of emotions.

1. If you had a magic crystal ball, what would you like to know about yourself, your life, your past or your future?
2. Is there something you've been dreaming about for years? Why haven't you done it yet?
3. What do you think is your greatest achievement in life?
4. What do you value most in friendship?
5. The first thing that comes to mind, the most pleasant memory.
6. The most terrible memory of life.
7. If you knew you were going to die in a year, what would you do differently? Why?
8. What does friendship mean to you?
9. How important is love and passion in your life?
10. List 5 of your favorite qualities in your partner.
11. Are your family members close? Do you think you had a happier childhood than others?
12. What is your relationship with your mother?

Part III of the questions is aimed at creating a connection, getting closer, and feeling each other out. Although it may seem very open, don't be afraid to boldly answer what is arising inside.

1. Please provide 3 statements each about how you think you both feel right now. For example: We are currently feeling...
2. Complete the sentence about a past life situation: I wish I had someone to share it with...
3. What is important for you to know if you want a close relationship with someone?
4. Tell your partner what you like most about them. Don't be afraid to be open, you can say things that you wouldn't say to a stranger.
5. Share something that makes you feel ashamed.
6. When was the last time you cried?
7. When was the last time you admired your partner? What was it?
8. Are there any topics that you don't like to joke about?
9. If you died tonight and couldn't talk anymore. Who else would you want to talk to? What would you regret not saying?
10. Your house catches fire. All family members and pets are saved. There is one more thing you can save. What would it be?
11. Who do you think would be the most depressed if someone in your family died? Why?
12. Share a personal problem that your partner would help you solve.

After you finish the questions, quietly look into each other's eyes for 4 minutes.

If you enjoyed answering questions, then you might also like to try these conversation cards